Another all too familiar story from a parent in the East Riding of struggles with her undiagnosed son struggling at school. Both school and doctors refusing to refer for assessments and sending parents back and forth between the 2. In the meantime the child is becoming more and more distressed in the school environment without any support in place and school ringing parents about the behaviour, promising meetings to discuss this but with this never materialising and not putting anything in place to help. Eventually they have agreed to refer to an Education Psychologist. If not for finding a local SEND parent community, the mum wouldn't have known what to do except to remove the child from school all together:
"November 2021 I was called in to discuss my child with his teacher, I left feeling like I'd been hit by a bus. I always knew he was different, more challenging and very quirky but to hear a professional say they think he could be a SEND child (Autistic/ADHD/Dyspraxia) really hit me hard. I had mentioned to his previous teacher that we thought it possible but she just nodded and never said anymore so I assumed I was just seeing things that weren't there. I was assured that school would do all they could to get the help they needed him to have in school. I had absolutely no idea what that was so I waited for them to lead. Christmas came and went and we still didn't hear anything. Creeping towards February half term and I got more and more calls into school regarding "behaviour" and "fidgeting". I requested a meeting to which they said yes to but next term and in the meantime for us speak to Doctor for a referral. We took him to a doctor who said they don't do referrals for children at school and it's got to come from the school so I passed this message on only to be told the doctor is lying and to try again or pay privately for assessment. I tried again with doctor and was told exactly the same and doctor refused to see us as it was a waste of time. A few weeks into the next half term I was told that we would have a meeting after the Easter holidays and that I shouldn't book a slot for parents evening as his educational ability isn't an issue he's very bright and his other needs are too complex to discuss in a short parents meeting so a meeting will be arranged when they return from Easter holidays. Still no meeting. More and more incidents at school and I'm called in numerous times regarding pushing/ shoving fighting and arguing. I'm at my wits end as this is my 4th child and I've never experienced any of this with the others. I ask what I can do, they point me in direction of the SEND local offer just to look on there and see what I think is the way I should go. I found an email address and emailed my experience to them they said an EHCP would be the best route forward so I applied and was denied an assessment due to lack of school evidence. I seriously am considering home-schooling at this point. He's coming home with scratches on his face because a boy took his glasses off his face (my child has only just legal driving sight so desperately needs his glasses) my son was punished for "snatching them back" the boy that took them didn't. He tells me he has 6.5hours to "get through" it's like torture to the poor boy it absolutely breaks my heart. Another message to say my son has pushed a child that had been tapping him, he hates being touched. I've had enough I go to school to remove him. Confronted by headteacher. I told her I'm taking him out and will home-school him so I know he's safe. She said he has to learn in life that he will be touched whether he likes it or not! I was told I am just having an emotional reaction! And that he's on every waiting list he can be on for them to get him help. I was asked if I felt unsupported by the school and I said yes I've been promised a meeting at Easter and now nearly July I've had nothing. I left it to my husband to decide the next day if he would send our son to school or not as I was at work. He sent him and like clockwork 3.10pm I was asked to go in to discuss an issue. My husband went in (first time he's been in) within half an hour of my husband going in we are now being referred to the Educational Psychologist. My son is unhappy in school because he is being unfairly treated and misunderstood. We were dropped into the deep end and have barely learned to swim. If it wasn't for the other SEND parents we've been lucky to meet along the way I really don't know what mess we would be in by now. I'm absolutely dreading September with the almost daily contact regarding incidents I just wish school was the safe nurturing environment it is supposed to be. The anxiety makes me physically sick and I'm already losing sleep over the school run starting again in a couple of weeks.
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